


Drabbles for Season 1 Rewatch

by EmilyElm



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Gaslighting, M/M, Violation of Will's privacy, psychic driving, talks of mental illness, talks of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-05-30 04:09:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6408181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyElm/pseuds/EmilyElm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My Tumbler collection o' Drabs from hanfangrahamk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Episode 1 -- The Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Will add tags to each new chapter as it applies.

Jack’s office, on this visit, holds a secret. He can feel it – the moment he steps through the door. 

Later, everyone will blame themselves for this introduction. 

But Will holds the secret still – close to his heart. He sees the moment even now. 

His eyes are drawn immediately to his. He couldn’t look away, even if he wanted to. And to his surprise, he doesn’t. 

This stranger is beautiful.

Will is struck. By hiseyeshismouthhisbonestructurehismind. He is caught in his own personal carnage. 

The fact that Hannibal can keep up with his verbal sparring is impressive. But it’s the scent that Will picks up on, however faint it is. He recognizes it, because he wears it himself. The misfit hiding in the shadows. The choking loneliness. The immediate understanding that he is of the same tribe. 

Already, Will could see how it would end – badly – and so he runs. And fleeing from a hunter is never a wise thing to do.


	2. Episode 2 -- The Paddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unconventional therapy session on Will's boat.

April can be a cruel month, said a wise poet, and Will discovers this for himself as he relents to Jack’s wishes and takes on yet another case. When he’s not at the morgue, he goes to the hospital. Hannibal is often there too, in the evening, with dinner. They eat in an easy silence, careful not to disturb Abigail’s deep rest. Hannibal can’t help but notice that the strange tableau of their little family is beautiful, in its own way. 

Emboldened, Hannibal admits to Will he wants to try something unconventional for their next therapy session. He asks Will to take him to a place he goes when he’s happy. Will has to sleep on this. No one’s ever asked him that before. 

The stag clomps into his dreams and the answer comes to him.

The hospital is not far from the marina. His boat, the Nola, is docked at the Baltimore Harbor and it’s a warm, Spring day. He knows the engine needs some work done on it, but Will assures Hannibal he won’t take him out too far along the Chesapeake.

The water calms him. This makes Will happy – the sun warming his skin, the light dancing along the water’s edge, the corner of Hannibal’s eye’s crinkling up. Hannibal can see this in Will’s eyes, which have turned from a Mississippi sludge green to a sky blue. Luckily, the wind lifts their sails, as the engine stalls. They float out past the Point until Baltimore, with its mushroom cases and its Sleeping Beauties, is but a distant memory. 

“Let me be your paddle,” Hannibal finds himself saying suddenly. 

Will meets Hannibal’s eyes and holds his look. For all their time together, this shreds through any remaining forts Will may have. He swallows and lets go, nodding, wishing this perfect April day would never end.


	3. His Nose Is Wide Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack suspects Hannibal has a thing for Will and Will was clueless about it until now.

He considers taking a forklift to Hobbs’ cabin and placing the travesty as an installation in his Evil Minds Museum. It has a certain kind of aesthetic that the museum has been lacking. 

 

But the investigation is still ongoing and what bothers him the most is Will is not on his top game. And Jack thinks he knows why. After he sends Hannibal back to the motel to gather Abigail and her things, he has his talk with Will. 

 

“Will,” Jack starts.

 

“I’m not wrong about the copycat, Jack,” Will interrupts, defensive.

 

“That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

 

He has Will’s eyes-on-eyes attention. Jack continues, “If Lecter has his nose open around you…”

 

“As in sniffing?” Will asks, confused.

 

“I’m from New York. New Yorkers say weird things from time to time. And `his nose is wide open' is one of them. How can I translate this?....”

 

Will picks up where this is going. He laughs. Shakes his head even. Jack breaks out into a grin.

 

“What?” Jack stifles a laugh.

 

“Hannibal isn’t…. We’re not…”

 

“No?” 

 

Will’s never thought about what has developed between them and why he feels so strongly about labeling it now that Jack has pointed it out. But he can see where Jack would think Will is Hannibal’s boyfriend. Hell, if he thought about it, he would think he’s Hannibal’s boyfriend most of the time. They’ve been going everywhere together lately. They agreed that Abigail was their responsibility. They sit too close together. They move as one, wherever they go, which is everywhere, together. 

 

It gives him pause. 

 

Hannibal is his boyfriend. Hannibal Lecter is his boyfriend and apparently it just dawned on him. 

 

Jack and Will exchange a look, as if reaching the same conclusion at the same time. 

 

“Well? I can have a word with Hannibal, if you need me to,” Jack says as helpful as he can. 

 

“And say what exactly?”

 

“Talk to him about boundaries. He is your psychiatrist, Will.”

 

But, Will wants to say, he’s my boyfriend. Will rubs his hand over his face. Maybe he’s confused. Maybe he should spend some time separated from Hannibal, and Abigail. Gain some perspective. Go home, think about how this looks. 

 

Jack sighs, waiting for some direction from Will. Some denial, at least. Instead:

 

“What gave it away… whatever it is that you think you’re seeing between us?” Will asks. 

 

“In my office. He pulls up a chair next to you. And it keeps getting closer, with every visit. With Freddie Lounds, he let you be you. He forgets, Will, that he’s here to protect you –“

 

“Like your best china? Like a shiny new teacup?”

 

Jack frowns, confused. “Am I wrong?”

 

“Hannibal and I,” Will trails off. “I don’t know how Hannibal sees me, but I doubt it’s anything less than professional.”

 

Will turns his back to Jack, making it clear that the conversation, at least until, much later, when they discuss a plan on how to trap Hannibal, has reached its natural end. Jack’s eyes roam over the length of Will’s rumpled, but surprisingly shapely, backside. And he gets a sense of seeing what has Hannibal so interested. 

 

If Will were in touch with his emotions, he would admit to himself that the conversation has rattled him. It takes awhile for him to process it, but later, in the back of the ambulance, when he defends Abigail for the gazillionth time and hears that Hannibal had been assaulted by the copycat, he forces himself to go home. He doesn't want to run to Hannibal's side and make sure his family is alright. He doesn't want to give Jack any more fodder about them.


	4. Family Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal is growing increasingly obsessed with Will, and attempts to use a dinner with Abigail to draw Will into their unit. But Will is showing signs of sickness.

They were obsessed with each other.

Only Will doesn’t know it. The identity of the Copycat Killer remains a mystery, but Will detects enough to blame himself for Cassie’s death. And he’s right to. After all, she had been his gift to Will. 

And after Will handed him the keys to his kingdom and trusted him with petsitting seven dogs, Hannibal let himself into Will’s house and made himself at home enough to finish Will’s fly project. A symbol, he felt, of their connection. 

Much to his own sense of propriety, Hannibal anticipated a gift in return from Will. So when Will showed up at his door with a beautifully wrapped package, this only confirmed how similar they were. Only the gift was for Abigail. Hannibal tucked it back in Will’s bag. Frankly, relieved that Will wasn’t going to give it to her.

While looking at fishing gear, Will had thought of Abigail and not him. But it served him in other ways. It pointed Hannibal in the direction of where Will believed his connection and heart to be. 

Hannibal moves the pieces on the board, to bring Will even closer than what they are. After one of his Port Haven visits, he encourages Abigail to put both their names down as guardians.

And finally, the planets align, and he has his long-delayed dinner, at last. Abigail is in good spirits, uplifted by just the prospect of being amongst family for an evening. She is tasked with setting the table when Will stalks in.

Will looks haggard, and that’s putting it nicely. Dark circles under his eyes. A grayish pallor. And a hint of heat radiating from his hair. The Lost Boys may have gotten the best of him. 

Even Abigail glances at him twice. She hands him a glass of water, and strangely, Will gulps it down, as he listens to her talk about her new plans to go into criminal psychology, her dream of going to Georgetown, maybe joining the FBI.

“I want to help people,” she tells Will. “Like you do.”

Will honestly doesn’t know how to tell her that she wouldn’t get into the FBI Academy. If he can barely get through the screening, Abigail doesn’t stand a chance. 

“I’ll see what Jack says,” Will tells her instead. “Hannibal and I…”

His thought drifts away from him. He finds himself back in Hannibal’s office, holding out his house keys. How they had slipped out of Hannibal’s hands and how he had bent over deeply to retrieve them. How Hannibal had watched the curve of his body so intensely. 

The last thing he remembers before he winds up in his bed, wondering how he’d gotten there, was Hannibal asking: “Do you have a fever?”


	5. Good Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will's empathy picks up on Jack's tragic discovery about Bella, and despite their inability to always see eye-to-eye, Will demonstrates that he considers Jack a friend.

Will had called Hannibal out when he suspected Hannibal was trying to put a wedge between him and Jack, because Jack was his friend.

Hannibal could scoff all he wanted, but Jack saw something in Will that made him right for these cases. He was part of Jack’s team, they were saving lives together and that meant something to Will. It was only natural that Will had become protective of his boss when it came to their work. 

Maybe it was because of Hannibal’s prodding that he’d become more sensitive to Jack’s feelings as the Angel Maker case progressed. They had started off yelling at each other, but Will’s empathy had picked up something amiss with Jack when Mrs. Buddish began speaking about her husband’s cancer and isolation. Jack had been reserved towards him ever since.

Will refused to leave Jack’s office until Jack spoke to him. He waited. Not out of obligation of his duty. But as a friend. He learned this from Hannibal. Who has been nothing but patient and understanding with him. 

Jack brings up Hannibal, as if reading his mind. 

Bella had felt comfortable with the good doctor. Enough to talk to him about her cancer. Will soaks that in. Bella with Stage 4 lung cancer. How Jack found solace in returning to his office to process it. Their pain.

“What is it about Dr. Lecter,” Jack asks Will, “that makes you want to confide in him?”

Jack merely wants to discover why Bella had turned to Hannibal instead of her own husband, but Will’s long explanation may have revealed more about the developing connection he felt towards Hannibal. 

Wonder fills Will’s voice when discussing his psychiatrist. His friend. The way Hannibal has gone out of his way for him. Opening his home to Will at any time of the day or night. He’s the first he’d call now when there’s trouble. The trips out of his way to Will’s house when a case took Will out of town.

“Why do you think he does these things for you?” Jack asks, innocently enough. Will finishes his soliloquy by insisting that Hannibal surprisingly finds him to be good company, but even Will detects that Jack has reached his own conclusions, which are not so innocent. 

Will considers denying that Hannibal has no interest in him in that way. But thinking back on their time together, maybe Jack’s right. Maybe he wasn’t imagining the way Hannibal looked at him was something that transcended friendship.


	6. We

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking Abigail back home to Minnesota has made something abundantly clear to Hannibal with where he stands with Will Graham.

Language is very important to Hannibal. And somewhere along the short journey of getting to know Will, they were doing everything together and had become a "we". "We" will sit together on the plane ride to Minnesota. "Let's" discuss Abigail while she sits an aisle over with Alana. "We'll" check everyone into the hotel. Hannibal had to admit it was nice. Even in his solitary down time in his room next to Will's, he finds himself thinking of their next adventure, usually with Abigail at their side. He imagines a family with shared values and aesthetics and abilities to hunt prey together. 

 

His own pack. With his partner at his side.

 

While his true plans were a long way off, at every opportunity, whether it was driving in their rental or confronting Nicolas Boyle, Hannibal makes sure he was at Will’s side. 

 

But it was a look Will gave him in Hobbs’ antler room that confirmed it went beyond mere proximity. Will needed him. Wanted him, even.

 

It was in the approving way his eyes raked over his English hunting garb. 

 

In their ability to finish each other's sentences even at this early stage in their relationship. 

 

In the flicker of guilt and paternal protectiveness Will felt as they discussed Abigail while Marissa’s dead body hung before them.

 

If Will could feel the way Garrett Jacob Hobbs felt, and Hannibal had heard Will’s nightmare screams as he returned from creating his tableau of Marissa at dawn, then Will could feel what the Copycat felt. His feelings. His thoughts. How revved up he felt returning from the hunt. How he came down in the shower afterwards. 

 

Will could get too close. This was dangerous. And yet, Hannibal could not bring himself to pull away. Not when there were so many interesting ways this could play out. 

 

He can feel the current that charges between them. It is almost a relief that Jack interrupts their tete a tete, on a mission to separate them. It gives Hannibal an opportunity to openly and happily declare that he's on Will's side and to watch Will's displeasure when Hannibal is put in charge to take Abigail home. 

 

Of course, he senses how it pains Will to separate from each other, but to his surprise, he clocks his own distress. He does not want to leave Will's side. And it has nothing to do with the need to veer Will away from detecting his involvement with her murder.

 

He senses that he is beginning to see Will and Abigail as family. Will, of course, has her best interests at heart, as Freddie immediately noted (leaving Hannibal out of the equation instinctually). Will's mistake with their daughter is to guide her toward the mundane, aware from her true nature, toward a banal philosophy that “murder was ugly”. That would not do at all. He does not know what is going to happen back at the Hobbs’ house, but he will be ready for his moment to create Abigail more in his image. 

 

All in the hope to draw in Will even closer. Where, like Abigail, once Will climbed his walls, he knew where to find home.


	7. GJH + WG

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will's first serial killer love is Garrett Jacob Hobbs. It doesn't initially allow for anything more.

Will knows Hannibal is trying to get his attention, greeting him at the door with the smell of wine on his breath, in his best suit, his hair styled just so. And Hannibal knows that he is aware. 

 

But Will needs to keep Hannibal as his psychiatrist, and to his credit, Hannibal admits as much and agrees to play along. 

 

The truth of the matter is Garrett Jacob Hobbs consumes Will's days and nights. The only competition has been the Chesapeake Ripper. 

 

Will considers it the worst love triangle ever. Hobbs being his first serial killer boyfriend that Will was obsessed with. The Ripper coming in a distant second. Will wants to let go, but as with every bad boyfriend, he just needs to fuck someone else to get over him. 

 

As long as Hobbs is in his head, Will can’t respond to Hannibal’s overtures. He's faithful like that. Maybe once his head is clear of Hobbs, once he catches the Ripper for Jack, starting something real with Hannibal would be alright. But in the meantime, he needs Hannibal to be his anchor. 

 

Hannibal is his psychiatrist and colleague. Period. It shouldn’t be anything more. Will hopes Hannibal doesn’t take it as rejection. He likes the conversations they have together. Caring for Abigail together. The company they keep. Okay, whatever you call what they have together. 

 

There’s only one type of guy Will lets in his head. And Hannibal is no Chesapeake Ripper. 

 

*

 

 

After Bedelia's rejection of friendship and then Will's, Hannibal feels like everyone considers him diseased. Too broken to be invited to the party everyone else is clearly having without him. It's true when he tells Alana that he sincerely hopes Will catches him. It would feel good to be caged in Will's head and never be let out again. 

 

Hannibal never thought he would desire anyone sexually. But he can't deny his attraction to Will. When Will is not with him, he is suddenly aware of a dull ache in his stomach. The loneliness. 

 

If Will could just get a glimpse of his true self, if Will could truly see him, he knows they would be good together. Great, even. And so he becomes determined to show Will his greatness in his effort to touch greatness in front of him.

 

Hannibal resorts to stalking, as a hunter would his prey, as Frankyn has stalked him. He tracks Will down in his classroom after their missed session. He figures it can't get any worse than what it is. If Will asks for a referral, so be it. 

 

But to his surprise, Will picks up another thing they have in common -- his love of words. "Words are pack hunters," Will reminds him. Like they will be one day, Hannibal promises to himself.

 

Jack may have picked up on his interest in Will when he catches him in the classroom after hours. It's a shame his interest has been so obvious. But he has to be obvious. Sitting in the ambulance next to a lesser killer than himself. As Will deduced, there are two killers. Maybe sitting side-by-side, Will's subconscious will pick up on the image he was able to craft by being in the right place, at the right time. 

 

Maybe it will queue up his place in Will's mind. signaling that he can fix Will's heart, dash away all others who would dare court him, and stand in the place the Ripper would. 

 

It's clear Will gets some part of his message. Maybe not all of it -- admittedly, he wouldn't want that, to actually be caught. But from the look of him, and he's practically thrumming with it, Will has seen enough. 

 

And Will comes around to his place, sniffing, as they say. Trying to pick up the scent of blood and danger in the air. Hannibal almost has him with the "sow's blood" filling the air. But those pigs were not a fresh slaughter. One day. 

 

Will excuses himself from joining Hannibal's celebration. Claiming to be off to a date with Chesapeake Ripper. He'll let Will make this mistake. But one day, soon, when he's alone in room with the Ripper, he'll know.


	8. A New Composition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal has to explain to Jack how he was able to subdue and kill Tobias Budge. It forces him to see what he's willing to risk to continue his friendship with Will.

It’s striking to him, that he didn’t notice it before. 

 

Franklyn and Will’s similarities: The scruff. The hair. The attraction to psychopaths. 

 

Jack takes Hannibal to view Tobias' body, against Will's protests. Will had argued for the better half of the morning that this questioning was unnecessary. He was protective of Hannibal and winced at the sight of his black eye, his limp, his arm injury at the hands of the killer Will could not stop. Will, however, was dismissed and ordered to go home. Jack, who found it strange that Hannibal was the one to take down Tobias Budge when trained law enforcement couldn’t, is clearly suspicious of Hannibal and needs to reach some conclusion on his own. Before he left, Hannibal gave Will an encouraging look that he can handle Jack from here on his own. 

 

Hannibal is keenly aware he’s been as reckless as Tobias. He and Will seem to have their counterpart’s traits down. As he stands in the morgue, taking in how much he ripped apart Tobias, Hannibal understands he risked himself for a serenade. 

 

Jack leads Hannibal back to his office where they sit across from each other as they have so many times. But today feels different. Today, Jack’s intense focus is directed solely at him. 

 

“Explain to me, Hannibal, what happened again,” Jack demands. 

 

Hannibal walks himself through interrogation techniques that he’s come to learn while consulting for the FBI. Namely, that some details have to change from telling to telling in order to come across as authentic. 

 

“Franklyn said Tobias was saying crazy things,” Hannibal jars his memory, looking down and to his left, as people do when they try to recall the past. 

 

Jack perks up at this new information and watches Hannibal very closely. He fishes for more, “Like what?”

 

“That he wanted to play him. He suspected Tobias was attracted to him sexually.”

 

A sharp inhale of breath. "You never indicated that in your statement," Jack points out, reaching for another report. Hannibal watches Jack squirm in the hot seat now.

 

“The cello neck that was stuck down the trombonist’s throat,” Hannibal psychoanalyzes for Jack's benefit, “was how Tobias fantasized taking Franklyn.” 

 

It's graphic and fits the profile. Hannibal conceals the thrill he's feeling as he gets a rise out of Jack this way. More notes are scribbled down. By now, the FBI has processed Tobias' basement. They've discovered the intestines taken from other bodies. This interview should be a formality, but Jack is still not convinced of where Hannibal stands.

 

“Why – “ Jack’s voice cracks around the word, “would Tobias go such extremes? Did Franklyn reject him?”

 

“His serenade allows the music to say what words can’t,” Hannibal trails off. “Only Franklyn truly knew what it meant. But Tobias was his friend. Even if their relationship was built on a foundation of mistrust.”

 

Hannibal hears the notes he struck on his harpsichord after he finished bashing Tobias’ head in. His anger and longing toward Will Graham. He recalls Will in his kitchen, eating the dessert meant for Tobias. The lie Will told when he claimed he only saw himself behind his eyes. 

 

He knows Will sees himself as a killer. Most importantly, he knows Will identifies with the Chesapeake Ripper. With himself. Tobias had wanted to serenade Hannibal and Will had called the serenade “our song”. 

 

Hannibal has never considered how much he craves that someone could assume his point of view. 

 

The longer he sits in Jack’s office, playing this game, the more he realizes what the cost of his friendship with Will would be. He is playing with fire, sitting here, letting himself be interrogated. Unlike Tobias, he isn’t ready to turn himself in, and yet here he is, courting danger, practically taunting the FBI with theories about deep-throating to toss him in a cage. 

 

Is Will worth it? Even Bedelia had warned him that every person has an intrinsic responsibility for their own life. Hannibal’s tenaciousness around Will Graham has left him irresponsible. And it's no one's fault but his own.

 

He waits for Jack to determine if he goes to jail tonight. He listens blandly to the murmurs of “self-defense” and a joke about getting Hannibal to shoo away the predators in the city. Hannibal pretends to laugh. 

 

With Jack stuck filling out FBI paperwork, Hannibal strides down the corridor in search of Alana. Like Franklyn, she will be collateral damage for getting between what he ultimately wants. 

 

A song dedicated to the killer within Will Graham. A composition that will come in fits and starts, in black and white, in blood and tears. 

 

Their song.


	9. It Gets Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusions Will draws after figuring out who killed Nicholas Boyle and before confronting Hannibal with his truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will's anxiety is quite heightened in this. Please pass on this chapter if panic attacks are a trigger.

The pendulum does not swing in this killer’s re-enactment. Nicholas Boyle stands before Will, the smell of death and rough trade clinging to him. 

 

The pendulum does not swing because Will knows who the killer is. It is the truth he’s avoided, that he refused to admit, even to himself: that Jack Crawford is right about Abigail Hobbs being a killer. 

 

Will shudders at the thought. And then the second shoe drops. He can’t deny this, but who does he confront about it? Abigail? He doesn’t even want to imagine how well that will go. 

 

Jack is in his office, just down the hall. He should go to Jack. He should, but… imagining how well that would end for all is even more unsettling. It would be easier to lie to Jack, just as he lied to himself. 

 

And then Will rushes to the nearest bathroom and stumbles into a stall, hurling the contents of his stomach into the commode. He crumbles in a heap and curls his body around the toilet, inches across from Garrett Jacob Hobbs. They take in the other.

 

“So my one act as father,” Will snarls at him, “is to destroy my daughter.”

 

“You are not any better than me, Will Graham,” Hobbs sneers at him. 

 

Will shakes his head, bitterly. Abigail is important to him. The most important thing. She is his family, the one good thing in his life, and he can’t let his imagination taint that. His theory about Nicholas Boyle’s death may be wrong. He’s been wrong about his personal life before.

 

Alana, case in point. He thought it was a professional or even sexual curiosity between them. But it’s not that. They are just friends. She cares about his well-being, as he cares about hers. In the end, they hugged it out and it meant more than any kiss. 

 

He can lean on her. And Hannibal. 

 

Hannibal is different though. He’s truly been a rock. His guide every step of the way as he tried to navigate his interactions with Abigail. Will was able to honestly tell her things get better, because he had Hannibal in his life now and his life was turning around. It was because of Hannibal Will decided to ride out her anger towards him and rise above it, that they’ll survive this, together. 

 

Will curls into himself. Hannibal is important, too, in his life. Essential, really. But Hannibal was there the night Nicholas Boyle died. Her father would be by her side, guiding her with the body. He knows Hannibal came upon the struggle and helped their little girl when she needed a father the most. 

 

Tears swim before his eyes and Hobbs’ smiling face blurs into Hannibal’s. Hannibal who covers up crimes and buries bodies and fits the profile of the Copy Cat Killer… Will’s eyes widen, seeing it all, and then he scrunches his eyes closed, so tightly, blocking out any drop of light. 

 

He won’t speak about this – he won’t go there – he won’t. 

 

Better to be blind than to see something so shockingly horrific. His chest heaves. He is going to hyperventilate if his mind drifts into Killer mode…

 

“Will,” Hannibal murmurs his name in the way that only Hannibal can. 

 

Will extends his arms and draws his image of Hannibal closer. Even an idea of Hannibal’s presence calms Will. He knows this is a lie too, but oh, how he needs his best version of his friend right now. 

 

“I won’t lie if you don’t,” Will tells him, giving his best Eagle Scout, honest-to-gosh smile. 

 

They grin at each other, as wolves do. 

 

“What should I do?” Will asks, telegraphing a decision he needs to make once he pulls himself off the floor and walks into the hall. 

 

“Are we friends or merely having conversation?” Hannibal shoots back, stroking Will’s face. Will turns his face into the cup of Hannibal’s hand. They meet the other’s gaze with a raw openness that begins to feel like the start of a deep wound. 

 

“You are family,” Will responds, with a clarity and honesty that startles even himself. There’s the answer he’s been searching for, right on the surface.

 

He exhales. A shallow breath, but one nonetheless. And then another. 

 

He shifts to his knees and then he’s back on his feet. He ends up facing the bank of mirrors along the sinks, staring at his reflection. He doesn’t know how long he stands there. 

 

He splashes his face with cold water, washing away the residue from his tears. He seems more like himself, if there is such a thing. If he can be the person he was before he wrestled with this knowledge. If he can never know anything so unpleasant again, he would be grateful.

 

He pulls open the door to the bathroom, and shuffles right past Jack Crawford’s office. His step doesn’t falter. He doesn’t look back. He’s made his choice.

 

Will reaches the parking lot and steers his Volvo towards Baltimore. He lied to himself, as usual. He has to hear the story of how it was that Hannibal helped Abigail get rid of Nicholas Boyle’s body from Hannibal. He has to know what secrets Hannibal’s keeping from him and why. 

 

If their relationship is true, Hannibal will not lie to him. And Will promises himself he will be a good father and protect his family from the FBI. He may threaten Hannibal with turning in Abigail, but as he parks his car in front of Hannibal’s office, Will has already decided: no one, not Hannibal, not even Jack, can take away this one good thing in his life.


	10. Work Husbands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will is the talk of the FBI, and Beverly is caught in the middle when she has to defend him to Kade Purnell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Warnings for talks of suicide and mental illness.***
> 
>  
> 
> Will's deteriorating mental health is discussed in a group setting, and bad and good theories abound. This can be considered offensive, and not something I would condone at all. However, this behavior is alluded to at the beginning of the show with Beverly warning Will that she's overheard the talk, and my version is the continuation of this talk, using canon dialogue with the conversation only getting more shrill as they see more evidence of Will's instability. 
> 
> The talk can be a trigger, since most of the lines that were said about Beth LeBeau and her illness are now directed to Will's state of mind. 
> 
> Hannibal and Will's exchange about Beth's disease are also directed now to evaluating Hannibal's feelings/mindset toward Will. While this was also done in the show, where Hannibal said his lines about Beth to Will, it's a rather blatant attribution here and the canon may be trigger-y. Please proceed with caution.

This first thing Beverly notices when she walks into work is the FBI brass sitting around a conference table in the BAU. This is usually not cause for alarm. Usually, these high-level meetings happen to debrief them at the end of a case, but they’d just brought in Donald Sutcliffe’s body. 

 

Kade Purnell is also in attendance, which means this has gone up the chain of command. And then she hears Will Graham’s name being bandied around. Beverly is officially alarmed.

 

So Will Graham seems to be the only agenda item up for discussion. And he’s not even in attendance to defend himself.

 

Beverly pretend-drops her case file. She crouches low, out of Jack’s eyeline, and gathers up the papers at a snail-pace. Jack’s voice carries and she listens. 

 

“…a rare disorder – “ Jack defends. 

 

“Or he’s delusional,” Kade parries back. 

 

Beverly swallows. For Will, maybe both applies. 

 

“Will has been given support. He is constantly meeting with Dr. Lecter, and together they have designed how to keep Will balanced and healthy in the field,” Jack insists. 

 

Kade rustles papers, which Beverly assumes is Jack’s latest report from Hannibal on Will’s progress in therapy. Beverly finds she’s holding her breath. 

 

“Pure empathy is how Dr. Lecter describes Will’s disorder,” Kade reads, dismissively. She sets the report aside. “This isn’t a report, it’s a poetry reading. What I need to be clear on is why Will Graham ripped up a murder victim, destroyed a crime scene and then drew that killer to his doctor’s office, insisting he is definitely the common denominator. Be straight with me, Jack. Is he crazy? Suicidal?”

 

Jack waves Kade's calling him on his bullshit off. It’s distasteful to him to consider Will this way. Repulsive. No one gives Will credit with being stronger than he looks, for taking killer after killer off the street. He can't say what is really on his mind -- that he regards Will Graham as an angel of justice -- without sounding a bit off himself. 

 

“What did he say he experienced at the first crime scene?” Kade tries another tact.

 

“Will claims he lost his way, just for a moment in the re-creation,” Jack explains, knowing how it sounds. “He did not recognize the victim. He knew the victim was already dead. He was looking, as he does, at the evidence. He embraces a certain… perspective.”

 

“The killer’s?” Kade interrupts.

 

“Yes. He picked up on some things, possibly a disease where the killer doesn’t feel alive. We’re looking into Beth LeBeau’s medical history now. Unfortunately, when Will stepped into that perspective --"

 

“He feels suicidal and delusional,” Kade concludes. 

 

A sharp intake of breath around the table. To Jack’s credit, he ignores her assessment and presses on. 

 

“Dr. Lecter referred Will to Dr. Sutcliffe. That referral had nothing to do with suicidal ideation. He has been having headaches and –-“

 

“Sounds pretty severe for Lecter to take him to a specialist of Sutcliffe's caliber for headaches. So LeBeau has become fixated on Will. Lecter’s profile states that `mental illness won’t let the killer trust anything or anyone, but expects to find Will to be trustworthy,'” Kade scans the report quickly. “This sounds like a love poem.”

 

“Kade,” Jack frowns, throwing up his hands. "Dr. Lecter has come highly recommended. You can't dismiss his professional analysis."

 

“When he starts sounding professional, Jack, I'll take his analysis more seriously. If Will’s in Beth’s head, then this is a matter of switching pronouns. And I quote, `He reached out to someone he loved, someone he trusted, he felt betrayed and became violent,’” she sets her jaw, refusing to acknowledge Jack’s protests that that assessment refers to Beth LeBeau. “If Will is standing in as Beth, then could Will Graham become violent? He’s certainly shown violent tendencies. What if he slips into this mode again? What if he guts someone and next time they’re alive? What if it doesn’t occur to Will until it’s too late?”

 

Now, Jack is silent. He does not have to confirm that he, too, has this same worry. It’s written on his face. Behind him, the success rate of the cases Will worked on are displayed. There is no doubt Will has been an asset. 

 

Others begin to speak out, weighing the pros and cons of keeping Will on Jack’s team. Despite Kade’s vicious barking, they don’t have the consensus to take Jack’s best hound off the field just yet.

 

Kade rises in exasperation. “You’re going to break him, Jack. He’ll fall into self-harm or harming others. Either way, he’s off the well-beaten path. And you want him to remain in the field?”

 

“I do,” Jack says, ashamed. “And I promise you he won’t break. Will will always find a way back to himself. We have Dr. Lecter also to bring him back.”

 

Kade defers to him, raised eyebrow perfectly arched to let him know she will be watching. The meeting breaks up and the bosses spill out into the hall, continuing their argument about whether they made the right decision. Kade strides out just as Beverly is making her way down the hall. 

 

“Ms. Katz,” Kade greets with a Cheshire smile. “Walk with me.”

 

Kade clocks Beverly’s glance at Jack. Beverly will need to straddle Jack’s narrative and needing to notify someone that Will is getting a lot worse. 

 

Once Jack is out of sight, Kade turns to her. “You think Lecter’s doing his job with Will?”

 

“They’re work husbands. Hannibal is a good sounding board for Will on these tough cases. And he makes Will eat a decent meal every week.”

 

“So this latest stunt even freaked out the good doctor?”

 

“With good reason,” Beverly sighs. “They’ve become close. They’re friends. Will doesn’t take care of himself even on a non-murder day. The BAU hasn’t been easy on him. Hannibal can only do so much, but Will has made it clear he wants to stay in the field.” 

 

“Do you think he should continue working for the BAU? How does Will seem to you?”

 

Beverly hesitates. She weighs her words carefully.

 

“Knowing Will? If he agreed to have Hannibal take him to Sutcliffe? He probably thinks he’s dying. But he won’t go down without a fight.”

 

“So he is suicidal and he will get violent – “

 

“That’s not what I said. And I’ve probably said enough.”

 

Beverly mumbles some excuse about Sutcliffe’s autopsy, pivots on her heel and heads back to the lab. She thinks of how she will have to warn Will that the halls of the FBI are buzzing again about him. How the pressure to justify Will’s presence in the BAU may drag everyone down with him when it gets to be too much. 

 

She slips into the bathroom and texts Will. “Meet me at the Mt. Vernon Inn tonight, after your session with Hannibal,” she writes. 

 

For once, he responds back quickly. He’ll be there. 

 

With a couple of cocktails in her, Beverly will loosen up and let a few choice moments of what she witnessed slip to him. The meeting was a complete violation of Will and his privacy, but she sees what these cases are doing to Will. She hopes she can convince him to stay off the next one.


	11. The Madness or The Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will has reached the point in his illness where Hannibal needs to put out the fire or watch Will die from the encephalitis. The hospital cannot find the source of Will's infection. Jack seems to believe Will can come back from this. He turns to Bedelia for guidance. But Bedelia's interests lie elsewhere.

Bedelia could see the thirst for Will Graham from outerspace. 

 

It vexed her to hear people she respected utterly reduced when it came to the profiler. 

 

She followed the recent manhunt when -- who else -- captured Abel Gideon, the Fake Ripper, and like the rest of the Mid-Atlantic region, wondered how the great Will Graham managed this feat while apparently sick as a dog. Bedelia had known several psychiatrists on Gideon's hit list. Alana Bloom, of course, who narrowly escaped from harm's way. 

 

Curiosity compelled her to make the phone call. She had a standing appointment with Hannibal at 4 o'clock. She was not going to be caught unaware by the progress he was clearly making in his own psychic driving of Will Graham. 

 

Alana was surprised to hear from Bedelia, it had been over two years since they'd sat at the same table at the House of Ruth fundraiser, and it was easy to say that she was concerned by the recent headlines and checking in to see if Alana were safe. Alana revealed that she hadn't had a hair mussed on her head from the incident outside her house, but she was sitting by Will's bedside at Maryland General. Will had some sort of infection that the doctors could not locate the source of, and Alana admitted she was feeling survivor's guilt as Will had put his own health and safety at risk for her sake. 

 

Bedelia was not fond of giving free advice, and besides, Alana was an expert in trauma, so she stayed silent as to not insult her. Alana presumed she bore the burden as no other for Will ending up the way he did, but Bedelia knew that their mutual colleague Hannibal Lecter had to have a hand in it. Too many "coincidences" had occurred for her to believe otherwise. 

 

She was not used to doing so much business during the day, as she liked to stay in bed mainly. She compelled herself, with much anticipation, to shower and prepare for Hannibal's appointment. She had been watching all of the classic war films from the 1930's and 40's lately, and decided she would emulate the look of the screen sirens from those times. A timeless look and one that Hannibal probably grew up seeing and admiring himself. 

 

She curled her hair like Rita Hayworth, and wore vintage Chanel that gave just a hint of seduction. Her intentions were noble, or so she told herself. But she wanted Hannibal to find a new distraction. She missed his attention, his sloppy attempts to woo her into a Becoming, and regretted keeping him at a distance. He needed to be reminded that he had to maintain his professional boundaries with Will Graham. 

 

As she took an early sip of wine to settle her nerves, she played out how she would listen, despite having already reached her conclusion. There could be no "friendship" with Will Graham. Will was his patient, full-stop, and had to be treated as such. She had to convince Hannibal that Will put him at too great of a risk of exposing his true nature.

 

Hannibal, to her surprise, looked devastated when he sat in his chair across from her. And the devastation seemed genuine. He was not basking in how much he had clearly broken this particular pony. He seemed annoyed with the hospital staff for not being able to put the fire out in Will's brain (and she knew he knew whatever "mysterious" illness Will had) and looked ready to strangle Jack Crawford for implying that Will showed how capable he was of remaining in the field even when he was fevered and clearly needed a break. No one seemed able to save Will Graham from himself or from what Hannibal was doing to him.

 

Bedelia waited for him to share what his grand plan was. Chance, nor luck, had stepped in to throw his plan into chaos. It was clearly in motion and no one was going to be able to stop it and come to Will Graham's aid after their session. Hannibal surely did not have the capacity to stop either. Unless she told him to.

 

He was leaving the decision to her. 

 

She knew enough about Hannibal's nature to sense that he was out of sorts for even raising the spectre that someone should intervene. He was almost begging Bedelia to show him how to resist his sadist tendencies. But what he didn't know was Bedelia admired that side of him. Was even attracted to the darkness.

 

And she did not care a wink about Will Graham. Hannibal may be in love with him, if he even could recognize that emotion for what it is, and craved his friendship. But Hannibal Lecter was her patient. Not Will Graham. And Hannibal had her full and complete attention. 

 

She was unwavering with her advice to let him continue and watch Will go mad. Will seemed destined for madness. It would be a natural end, and no one would be the wiser that Hannibal drove him to it.


	12. Disassociated States

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal gaslights Will while bringing him chicken soup, confused about wanting to take care of him while framing him for his murders before Will figures out who the Ripper is. He lets himself into Bedelia's home to make sense of it all.

As the broth is simmering, Hannibal prepares the evidence that Will has gone increasingly mad. He finds a mini-tape cassette recorder and transfers select lines from their sessions that could incriminate Will. He rewrites his scheduling book. Edits Will’s file and clock renderings. 

 

Hearing Will's voice over the recorder discussing his feelings on guilt and killing would have him diagnosed as certifiable, but to Hannibal, Will’s thinking is just different, his type of crazy is not something that can easily be categorized, much like Hannibal’s own. It makes it almost difficult for Hannibal to enjoy putting the stink of madness on Will, when their time together has been so divine.

 

The silkie chicken broth is spread out before them and Hannibal realizes he and Will are sitting in the same seating arrangement as the first time they’d met. Except today they are in Will’s hospital room. The only comfort he gets as he blows the heat off his steaming spoonful of soup is that next time he’ll serve Will behind bars. 

 

Will catches the look on Hannibal’s face and sets down his own spoon. His empathy rarely kicks in when he is around Hannibal. Hannibal is such a blank slate – usually – that Will can lower his forts and just relax. But he’s been so preoccupied with his own health, he’s all but ignored his friend. 

 

“Hannibal,” Will’s voice catches. “I’m sorry I’ve been so self-absorbed and demanding of your time. I haven't even asked about you–“

 

Hannibal waves off this kind of talk. He notices that Will had lost his appetite the moment they had started talking about madness being isolating. In a way, Will being institutionalized will isolate them both. But at least then, Hannibal will always know where Will is and who he is thinking about. 

 

Will fully takes in Hannibal. His severe hair styling, the military-like coat, the worry etched around his eyes. Again, something catches in his throat. 

 

“This has been hard on you,” Will surmises. “And you’re right, madness is isolating. Georgia is being treated as a burn victim. They have her in an oxygen chamber. The only benefit being is the oxygen has done wonders for her hair and skin. She looks really pretty with her long, golden locks…”

 

Hannibal’s nostrils flare. He was not expecting Will to show a fondness for blondes in his fragile state. But then he always suspected that Will was talented sexually. That one kiss from Will had sent Alana Bloom back on the road to Will’s house to continue where they’d left off. Hannibal wonders what would have happened between them if Will had not been elbows deep in his fireplace, digging for his imaginary animal. 

 

“Are you jealous,” Will picks up, incredulous.

 

Hannibal is surprised to find that he is. Embarrassed Will finds this killer attractive. Offended that he can smell that Alana had been at Will’s bedside through the night. Ambivalent about focusing more on Will as a patient than a friend.

 

Hannibal meets the empathy with a steely look. He holds up a finger, warning Will not to go where he’s about to go. A distraction is needed -- before Will sees his plan to leave a cheap comb in Georgia’s oxygen tank. 

 

Will, without meaning to, sees the design of affection in all the meals they’d shared over the past few weeks, their comfortable dynamic, their guardianship of Abigail, how different he’s been feeling since he’s met Hannibal. It propels Will to his feet and he stands over Hannibal, triumphant. Someone actually desires him.

 

It feels like every breath is being torn out of their bodies. Hannibal slowly moves closer to Will as chemicals and atoms and explosives light around them. He feels as if he will combust when he reaches out to caress Will’s face.

 

This touch feels more dangerous than any kill. "We shouldn't," Hannibal says weakly, fully intending to use their friendship and sexual tension as a distraction. Will is magnetic, and despite his control, Hannibal wonders what it would feel like if he chose to delve even closer to him. He holds back, inches from Will’s lips.

 

“Is it because I’m unstable?” Will murmurs, crushed by the rejection.

 

“I am stepping out of my role as your psychiatrist,” Hannibal invokes and Will nods, hungrily, “and indulging in something that could hurt our friendship…”

 

“It won’t, Hannibal,” says his friend, fully manipulated and so alluring. “I promise I won’t speak of it to anyone.”

 

Overindulging, may be more apropos. Filling the void. Stealing a taste. 

 

The tang of wolfberries and broth fill his mouth. Every sense is heightened. Will tilts his head so the kiss can go deeper. Hannibal swallows Will’s tongue and sucks at its tip until Will is drooling from it. Hannibal pulls away as Will clings to him for more. He makes a show of apologizing and appearing even more embarrassed. He asks if they can keep it professional until Hannibal can find a referral for him. Will agrees if Hannibal kisses him once more. 

 

They are devouring each other on the next kiss. It stuns Hannibal what an expert kisser Will is, how well they fit together, how Will can match his passion. But there is no privacy in a hospital. A nurse brings in her cart to check his vitals. And they part, chests heaving, cheeks flushed. Will is whisked back into bed, leaving Hannibal aching. 

 

He hurries to pack up. He realizes that he is even more obsessed about Will than before. Hannibal leaves Will’s room as if he were floating. He doesn’t recall if he said goodbye. He deigns to keep it professional from this point out, or it will be Hannibal who will end up behind bars and not Will. 

 

Instead, he recreates Will in his image, and maneuvers his chess pieces to dismantle Will's world. He handles the business with Georgia and the comb. Will is right about how pretty she is. With Jack, Hannibal plays his reconstructed therapy recordings, leading Jack to conclude that Will is a top candidate to be the Copycat Killer. And then Hannibal is left alone, to wait and see how it all plays out, with his feelings and this unbearable doubt.

 

It is unbearable. He has so much energy bent inside him now, but no measure to release. He doesn’t know how much longer he can wait. Restless, he drives his Bentley over to Bedelia’s and lets himself in with his key to her house. It is presumptuous, it is rude and demanding, but he wants what he wants and what he wants he can’t have. So therapy it will have to be. 

 

Once again, Hannibal finds he doesn’t understand his own thinking when it comes to Will Graham. The pressures of his personal and professional relationships with Will may have grown too great and he needs to find his way back to relieve them. He must carry through with this to the bitter end, and frame Will as the Real Ripper.


	13. Full Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal delights in framing Will.

"Gag-worthy," Hannibal eyes the ear in the sink. He fights the grin that threatens to spread across his face.

 

This is the performance of a lifetime and he must strike all the right notes.

 

He spins a full 360 degrees. When he was studying human behavior, he watched films and memorized the actors' reactions at the height of their emotional climaxes. In the language of cinema, the characters who were about to undergo a severe challenge to their very core would ultimately lose themselves physically in a full circle. It signaled to the audience that change was coming.

 

And so Hannibal pivots in front of Will, turning, turning, until their eyes meet. It will not get better, Hannibal hopes he conveys. And: I have done this, with great panache and verve.

 

Visual literacy is not taught in schools anymore, and so his warning goes unnoticed. 

 

But later, Will sees something. Hannibal is not sure what it is. It came to Will in one of his dreams, but he is seen for what he is. A killer who has walked among the masses undetected. Only Will knows and no one believes what Will says anymore. Hannibal made sure of it.

 

He celebrates with Bedelia -- after all, she was the one to keep him on track -- and even she admits that she's noticed his pattern. A pattern of violent, complicated patients putting him in the center of a violent, complicated events. While he likes Bedelia, he would not hesitate, as he had done with Will, to lock her away somewhere for his sole amusement.

 

And so he goes to see Will and is so pleased at the sight of him, fever-free, his mind as sharp as ever. 

 

"This is a farewell, of sorts," Hannibal begins.

 

Will waits for him to explain. There are bags under his eyes. He is gaunt. Grieving, even, for what he had, what he was. Good, Hannibal thinks, because this is just the beginning.

 

"Farewells imply that your work is done," Will breaks the silence between them. "Are you done with me, Doctor Lecter, just when I was starting to get interesting?"

 

"You are in a battle with who you are. And you'll fight it in this cocoon. When you emerge, I'm sure I will see firsthand what you have become."

 

Incredulous: "You want me to kill you?" Will steps closer to the cage, peering into his eyes as if searching for a death wish. He sees none. 

 

"I want you to come to me, as your true self."

 

They are close enough to kiss. He is tempted to tell Will about Abigail, just to feel the relief that will press against him. Instead, he is reminded that he needs to visit her. Abigail is his latest project now. He will get to mold her with only a clip of her wings here and there. He smiles at Will and steps back. 

 

"I bid your past self adieu," Hannibal assures him. "Be fearless, Will."

 

He pivots on his heel and strides off. 

 

"Hannibal," Will calls out. 

 

Hannibal stops and looks over his shoulder. Will's head is touching the bars and his gaze looks past him. 

 

"Well-played. It's pathetic that no one else will ever know. And I promise you: I won't forget."

 

He turns his back on Hannibal and Hannibal remains in his spot, soaking that in, gathering that he will be looking over his shoulder, hoping that Will has sprouted wings and has found him worthy to visit. He is counting on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of my rewatch drabbles that expanded over the course of the season. Too many points needed making, apparently. It was a fun ride. Thanks for coming along.


End file.
